Yep, today is garbage day. What a day! Every Thursday the faithful garbage man drives up and down the streets of Seattle and hauls away everything that was purged from your home for the last week. This is fine except around this house, garbage day brings back memories that I wish could be forgotten. Every Thursday!
It all started with an anniversary. Just which anniversary, I’m not sure. We’ve had so many. It was long enough ago that our kids were still living at home. Now I’ve never forgotten our anniversary, but that time I just didn’t mention it. The plan was to surprise her in the afternoon and take her out to an early dinner.
She didn’t say anything at first, but by mid-morning just couldn’t help herself. “Do you know what day it is?”
At this point it should noted that if anyone ever kept score, I would be world famous for saying something without thinking things through.
Of course I knew what day it was. Without thinking, I said “Oh, it’s Thursday! Happy Garbage day!” and gave her a kiss.
That’s when I added another item to my “Do Not Joke About” list. That list includes things like NEVER JOKE WITH:
1) The doctor when he’s putting on his latex glove just before he gives you a prostate exam
2) The policeman when he asks what’s your hurry
3) The security agent at the airport when he wants to look in your shoes
4) The Border Patrol agent when he asks if you have any illegal drugs
5) Anybody wearing a name tag with a really weird name
6) The panhandler when he asks you for ‘spare’ change
And of course anytime you wonder beforehand whether a silly comment would be appropriate.
There are more items on the list, but I usually forget them until after the fopa has been voiced.
I have to hand it to her. She took it all in good stride, even though she didn’t laugh as much as our kids did.
That was many years ago and still sometimes, out of the blue, one of our kids will call and wish us a Happy Garbage Day.
I have another one for your "do not joke about" list...
ReplyDeleteRemember when you came with me to visit a friend at Harborview in downtown Seattle? We came out at probably around 10-11 at night and we were walking to the car when we passed a big (and I mean BIG) black guy with some kind of chain hanging down from his pants to the ground. As I'm just focusing on hurrying past without making eye-contact, you have to stop and say, "Hey! I think you lost something off the end of your leash!" He didn't smile (but we giggled all the way to the car while we were walking double-time!)
... and to think you came with me in the first place to make sure I was SAFE!!!